Uncool Mom or Future Empty Nester?

When did I become this mom?  The one who doesn’t know what’s cool anymore, who misuses “cool” phrases, and turns to her kids for tech support. I remember being pregnant with my oldest and envisioning that we would just kind of “hang” together.  She seemed like she would be something between an accessory and a hobby…. kind of like knitting, but with greater potential later on.  Then…she was born and she was this whole other separate person who made decisions on her own timetable about things like sleeping (or not), eating (or not), and pooping/crying/puking (for these, “not” seemed never to be an option.)  It sunk in quickly that parenting was not at all like knitting, or hanging out with some cool mini-pal…if anything, it was more like trying to knit while running backwards on a treadmill while feeding a moody tiger with a sensitive palate.

Momsomnia

Today as a guest poster we have Bridget Straub. And boy did you hit a home run that knocked me off the bench. I can so easily related to the melancholy of being up at night, my thoughts, all haywire, and then finally worrying about one of my kids.  Read on you'll see. 

Sleep is not something that comes easily here in my mid- life. When it does finally wash over me, it is short lived. On any given night I will wake up at least twice, and when I do, my mind is always shifting its focus on any variety of subjects. Last night it was my son, who is about to have his twenty sixth birthday. First off, I had the thought that this is just crazy. I am not old enough to have an adult child, and there is no getting around the fact that by twenty six, you’d had better be an adult. Secondly, what kept circling my head was that I was only a year older than him when I decided I had to have a child.

 It’s hard to imagine now, but back then I thought I had all the answers, and a fairly clear picture of how my future would play out. I had lived through a very violent crime, and knew things could change in an instant. As a result, I had an accelerated desire to avoid putting off what could be accomplished in the here and now. Just because my Mr. Right hadn’t come along, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a baby. Turns out, my Mr. Right still hasn’t shown up, which leads me to wonder about the best laid plans and all of that.

Today I Was A Mom

This has been a crazy week. Two bdays my girls are just days apart. And on both of their days I had work commitments. While they seemed happy with the family parties and everything came together...that ugly, nasty, useless guilt nagged me all week.

I was just so rushed during both parties that today when they had the friend party I wanted to nail it. But guess what today I also had a work commitment. However it was before and not after. So that helped.

The cakes were perfect, we kept the games easy, only one girl got hurt, & no blood was involved, the gifts were amazing, & we had one little girl who we met at the park who crashed the party but I had extra goody bags.

I have MANY jobs. But this is the most important, the one I fall short at the most, the one that is the eternal investment, and today I rocked it!

(and dad helped)