The road to....

Today I learned the road to hell is not paved with good intentions.

Good intentions are a characteristic of the heart and only Jesus Christ and God can know your heart besides yourself.

Everyday of my life is a battle against negativity, the world's influence, and the adversary. In no particular order but each in equal and constant attack on my home, my marriage, my kids and my family.

Today I was wounded.

But most days I win.

So I'll lick my wounds...say my prayers...cry my tears and draft my battle plan for the coming week.

I will never stop serving or be weary in well doing. I will endure to the end and the end is not here.

Time Well Spent

Today is the last day with Granny. I love my granny and so does my family. She hasn't been out to see us in four years. It's been that long since we celebrated a holiday with her either.

In the seven days she's been with us we had Thanksgiving dinner, went to lunch for her birthday (its in Dec) and had Christmas morning with her. It's been kind of busy since she's been here doing all the shopping and stuff. Then yesterday she had a bad night and was tired and lethargic all day.

Because of that we didn't go to church. Our family is very active in our religion and though granny doesn't attend our church she is supportive. However, I felt like it was important to just simply be with her today. She feels better, Sundays are always laid back, and it is her last day as she leaves first thing in the morning. There is a small twinge of guilt that I didn't attend but I love my Savior and he loves my granny. I can tell she's really happy we stayed and are just hanging out for the day.

What about you? Have you ever felt slightly guilty but then decided not to regret it?

Signifigant Sunday: Hyperventilation and Keeping Covenants

So today was a lesson early on for me. I woke up to the realization that the Spirit was trying to tell me last night to plug in my lappy so I would realize that I forgot my laptop cord at the lovely VineArts Open Studio that I attend sometimes with my daughter. (To find out more about them click the name.)
Needless to say I didn't heed that prompting and so this morning when I got up and found that my precious lappy was not only dead but I had no cord to charge it with a small panic attack occurred.

Now most people would say just go buy one or just go get it from where ever you left it. Here's the problem. I made a covenant when I joined my church not to purchase things on Sunday unless absolutely necessary. Kind of like the ox in the mire saying. Meaning that back in the days of pioneers that if an ox got stuck in the mud on Sunday you didn't just leave it there to die cause it's Sunday but then if you could live without it until the next day hold off.

Then there is the respect I have for the friends that are the only ones that can get me into the center. They have worship in the morning then they are having a wonderful event afterwards at the same time my worship service is. Then they are pretty much off all week to celebrate the resurrection of Christ because Easter is next Sunday. So many factors to respect and keep. Like I said panic attack. I work from my laptop.

So anyway long story short I contacted my friends and one was able to help me out without being too put out (I think) then another gave me a laptop cord on a temp basis. Lesson Learned from all this I feel bad that I never took the time to ask in prayer what to do but inside me I was screaming for help and my prayers were answered and like so often they are in the form of friends.

Signifigant Sunday...Taking A Day Off...But Holy Cow I Have a Deadline

As I look out my big bay window at the piling snow and the beauty it's creating I consider the fact that if we still lived in TN where we had to drive 30 minutes to get to church. It would be canceled. Admittedly it's an inviting thought to stay home. It's warm, the house always needs something done and I'm at least 4 chapters behind on my editing goals. If church was canceled I would most likely be able to catch up everything! Alas we live a block from our church in Idaho where snow is a seasonal thing and therefore they are prepared. 


Taking all those things into perspective I pose the question I know you are thinking. "Why are you blogging about editing when you could be doing it now?" I have decided now that writing is apparently my career or job choice if you will that I will refrain from working on Sunday. You have no idea the amount of panic deciding to do that has created. I'm over it now. For years I have counseled my husband not to work on Sunday...to exercise the faith that God has promised to those who are obedient to this commandment. Wow... boy is it harder to do when you are the one who should be doing it. Now do not think that I am judging or even counseling anyone else to do this. It's easier to make this decision when you are self employed.  And in theory if you work outside the home you would get a couple days off a week right? So I will take at least one.


What I won't do on Sunday...

• No shopping

• Don't participate in commercial activities like sports etc. 

 (By not doing these I won't be making people work for me on Sundays)
OK those you who know me know that I already don't do these things. Still I think I deserve a little credit. 

• Not to post marketing posts on Facebook, Twitter or my Blog

• Not to write, edit or even plot! (OK so I'll plot but I won't write it down till Monday)

The things that I will do on Sunday....

• Attend all my church meetings (Yeah Yeah...I deserve credit anyway!)
• Read leisurely.
• Study my scriptures and delight in the words I read.
• Serve my family and others.
• Plan my week out such as meals, appointments etc so I can use my time wisely.
• Have a night where we as a family will stay in and do something just as a family.
• NAP!!!!
•  Write my Significant Sunday posts
• Try to make at least one made from scratch meal for my family. (This one is last for a reason.)

While I will most likely do laundry, dishes or clean a little and some might count that as work I'll just file that under serving my family. 

Do you have a day or time that is sacred to you and your family? If so when and why?

Signifigant Sunday...The First of Many More....

Waking up this morning surfing Facebook and Twitter (like I do every morning) I saw how great the weather was back home, how great Saturday night was and a few ,as it often happens, that pulled at my heart strings. Yesterday I saw one that shared the turmoil a mother was enduring over the loss of an unborn child.  But it was this one that spawned the beginning of SignificantSunday.
 
"Taking the kids to see my Mom today for the last time! This is hard, however they seem fine."

I offered the customary...thinking of you...praying for you comfort comment. Then I stopped and thought of how many times had I really prayed when I said I would. The outcome is shameful to say the least. My prayers usually consisted of rushed thoughts as I went through my day. Taking that into consideration I decided today would be different and hopefully would spur a change. 




From now on when I say "I'm going to pray" for someone the definition will be different. It will consist of not just thoughts but folded hands, hidden knees and genuine heartfelt concern for those that need my love.  Even if my prayer must come later it's value I feel is more significant than a rushed mumbling of words. Now don't get me wrong a prayer in your heart and rushed mumbled words are heard as clearly as any other prayer. Nevertheless, for me...for my friends...I feel a change is in order...a change is deserved.

Whether your prayers are upon an alter, in a mosque, include candles or elaborate rituals the outcome is still the same. If you have a desire to uplift or comfort the afflictions of another or celebrate and praise in joy the blessings that surround the outcome is still the same.

The positivity through love that you have poured out into the universe is not only important, but powerful.






What will you do that's significant today?

To Be Shunned...

This post is deeply personal. Most people would wonder why it would be. They probably assumed this blog was simply about writing...well mostly it is. Anyone who has ever written a blog, a novel, a poem or even painted a picture will tell you it's like putting your inner most dealings out there for people to see. However, Aaron Patterson summed it up the best. (yes Aaron is my publisher...however it's not brown nosing when it's brilliance)




So as this Christmas season approaches I find myself thinking of family and Christ. Well that led me to this post. My family is 2,000 miles away. It's fine really we have Skype. However, I had another family ,briefly. My bio should clear up any background info missing for anyone.

My father was never a part of my life. My mother's family is all I really know...having me at 17 even in 1982 wasn't exactly accepted yet. Nonetheless, I was deeply loved and cherished by a mother, aunt, uncle and loads of extended family. Most especially by my Granny and Paw Paw. I was like their later in life baby. They had experience, patience and money...they spent loads of all three on me. I guess that's why it hurt so bad when my other grandparents (Nanny and Pa) shunned me.

When I was thirteen I found and contacted my father. He agreed to meet me at a local fast food restaurant and we had a lunch where he proceeded to tell me that my mother was a whore in high school and I could be his daughter. (This was pretty upsetting considering I was looking into my own eyes.) I have two siblings by this man and from what I can tell I wasn't missing out on much.

Fast forward 5 years to my graduation day. I am 18. I send a letter to my father's parents Nanny and Pa. They write me back and say that I could quite possibly be their grandchild and they had heard about me before. However, no one had ever contacted them so they were just waiting. (This should have been my first warning.)

I meet them. They are welcoming and loving...although very different than what I knew. It didn't matter. I had been taught to be tolerant and open minded about everyone. So we develop a relationship over a few years. We spend holidays together and they get to know my children and husband. 

Now we enter 2003...I converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with my husband. My father's parents are devout Church of Christ. I was so elated to share a testimony of our Savior that they were some of the first people I told. Nanny invited me to her home soon after to offer me a gift. It was a scripture bag...full of antimormon literature.
Imagine my joy is like a balloon full of life filling oxygen...and then imagine a one legged old woman with a butcher knife popping it to pieces. That's what if felt like. (Nanny lost her leg many years ago and now has a prosthetic.)

I quickly left and disposed of the literature. I wouldn't visit or return her phone calls after that either. Finally when I did answer the phone, she had the nerve of asking,"Have I done something to offend you?" I wanted to say How about I come burn a cross in your yard and then ask you the same thing. But I didn't. I did say that her pamphlets hurt and I had been taught you say what you think and ask what you want to know face to face. Her response was that she didn't even know anything about the church or what the pamphlets said. (!!!!!can you see the look on me face. bugeyed, mouth agape, eyebrows to the top of my forehead!!!!!)Then she proceeds to say she was scared because it all happened when that Elizabeth Smart girl was kidnapped. (Elizabeth Smart was the victim! She's a Mormon!!)

I haven't spoke to her for 6 years now. I think it was all just too much. To be shunned by your father and then to have his mother do it as well. I just walked away. I know it wasn't the Christlike thing to do. It wasn't about being Christlike it was about emotional survival. There's only so much "I don't want you." a girl can take from her family.

I have a cousin, an aunt and a sister on fb that are from that side. They are kind and interested in what I have going on in life. I even saw Pa out ,mostly at Kroger's getting gas, when I still lived in TN. He always, always was kind and asked about the kids and told me he loved us.

I have prayed for them and I'm happy to hear that there have been many blessings for them in recent years. Will I call them...no....will I send a letter or a card....maybe one day. Of course members of their family may see this blog and then tell them. Then it will be "We don't want you!" all over again.

Bri