My kids have made me soft and I'm not talking about that extra skin that I still have from carrying them soft. I mean that balling my eyes out while watching Toy Story 3 soft. Staina, my 6 year old vampire, crawled into my lap during some really intense parts. Katie, my 9 year old, munched happily on her treats and my Boy, he's 14, well he's 14. While I the 28 year old mother cried.
I have cried for many years at movies and TV shows. I always blamed it on hormones. I mean lets face it we have plenty to choose from. We can blame it on pregnancy, ovulation, periods, pms. You name it we have a blamee for it.
No I realized it's not hormones. I'm a softee. You know this is especially hard for me. Because I used to not be this way. I was the power post basketball player, the going to jail for hitting somebody with brass knuckles rebellious teen, and then I even did a brief but knowledgeable service in the National Guard as a future MP. I am not soft!
But wait...Is soft really that bad. I am a woman. Why do woman have to be hard? Why do we have to be so guarded? Why do we have to fulfill the stigmas that society puts on us?
If crying at the movie theatre makes me soft.. Well that's OK. If I catch someone laughing at me and their adults,(I did learn from my overnight stay in jail) I still carry my knuckles in the side pouch of my Coach bag.
Anyone can be angry, guarded and defensive...it takes a stronger person to open up and to allow yourself to be vulnerable and to let yourself express the more tender, heartfelt emotions. The world can say you are weak, or soft, but I say phooey...Allowing yourself to be touched, whether by a child, the Holy Spirit, or by a tender moment with your family at the movie theatre, makes you a stronger woman in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteyou are not soft, you are human. i remember when you were about 10 or 11, watching My Girl with you and during the funeral scene. you and i looked at each other and sobbed, it was so sad. of course, i never watched it again. lol. never the less, we cried, and it was ok. you and jacob helped me understand that it is ok to show emotion. now you make sure your kids know it's ok. i love you, hard ass.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that was Josh or Karyn. I'm going to assume it was Karyn. Thanks either way.
ReplyDeleteMom I love ya and this is a clean blog. Your cussing doesn't need to happen again. consider this your warning. LOL
It's Jett, actually. ;P
ReplyDelete