Today as a guest poster we have Bridget Straub. And boy did you hit a home run that knocked me off the bench. I can so easily related to the melancholy of being up at night, my thoughts, all haywire, and then finally worrying about one of my kids. Read on you'll see.
Sleep
is not something that comes easily here in my mid- life. When it does finally
wash over me, it is short lived. On any given night I will wake up at least
twice, and when I do, my mind is always shifting its focus on any variety of
subjects. Last night it was my son, who is about to have his twenty sixth
birthday. First off, I had the thought that this is just crazy. I am not old
enough to have an adult child, and there is no getting around the fact that by
twenty six, you’d had better be an adult. Secondly, what kept circling my head
was that I was only a year older than him when I decided I had to have a child.
It’s
hard to imagine now, but back then I thought I had all the answers, and a
fairly clear picture of how my future would play out. I had lived through a
very violent crime, and knew things could change in an instant. As a result, I
had an accelerated desire to avoid putting off what could be accomplished in
the here and now. Just because my Mr. Right hadn’t come along, that didn’t mean
I couldn’t have a baby. Turns out, my Mr. Right still hasn’t shown up, which
leads me to wonder about the best laid plans and all of that.
