Sunday, February 27, 2011

Signifigant Sunday...The Single Mother/Woman at church...Jezebel or Modern Day Widow?

I know .... I know you guys are thinking Not Jezebel!!! Hear me out. As I was deciding what to write this Sunday I was transported back to a time when I was the daughter of a single mother attending a small church. One instance among many was when we moved. When I say we I mean my mother, eight year old brother and I. The only help we received was from my aunt and some neighbors who took pity on us. My aunt Sis is stout as a bull and was great, but imagine two women a teen girl and an eight year old string bean (sorry little brother) are trying to move a couch with a bed in it. Would you stop and help or would you ignore them? If you knew they would need help in advance would you go help them?

In my new church I know that help would be called organized and put to action. The women would be there to help pack, clean, move, and unpack. The men would be there to do all the lifting and moving. Now don't get me wrong the women of that church did have a small house warming party after the move. I'm sure it was spawned from the guilt they felt telling their husband, "I don't want you helping that woman. She's single!" (I got it from a source that was what happened. I'm not speculating.)

Note to those wives in today's society most affairs are likely to happen with people in relationships and often times people you are both acquainted with.

Although Christ didn't say single women or mothers he did say "and the widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor." I think it's safe to assume that the single mother/woman is counted as a widow in the Lord's eyes and should be treated as such. Not a Jezebel or a lesser person. 

Are you a single mother who ever felt this way? Have you received kindness and charity when you needed it? Please share your experiences do it anonymously if you want.


  1. It can be difficult being a single mom in church. I feel accepted but only to a point. I feel sort of held at arms length a lot of times, and don't really fit in with other groups most times.

    Michelle V

  2. Thanks for sharing Michelle. One of my closest friends, who is named Michelle, is a single mom. I try to always make her feel like any other sister. So what I'm saying is I'm mean to her along with all my other friends. LOL I think that some people are so focused on not saying the wrong thing or thinking the wrong thing they end up aloof and guarded which people pick up on. Most people just want someone to be genuine.

  3. It is hard to be a single mother in the church--it's also hard to be a single woman, period. A couple fo good friends of mine are in that position, never been married, and feel like outsiders, as though they don't quite belong. But I will tell you, for the most part the people are very loving and do try their best to be aware of everyone's situation, to include. If people are being held at arms length, then we're not doing as Christ would have us do. We need to work on that. No one should feel as though they don't fit. We have the ability to learn from everyone.

    Thnks for following me on twitter. If you get an opportunity, pop over my blog and give it a looksee. Thanks.--Angela

  4. Thanks for checking me out Angela. I love your comments. I always try to think of the scripture that with Jesus and the adulteress. "I condemn thee not." I'm paraphrasing there., LOL

    I'll check ya out girl. Love to

  5. Ah, that hits home. My mother was the single woman moving in with three kids after an abusive divorce. She left church and religion entirely from the experience. No one ever learned the lesson that she was the modern widow.

    I'm a married gypsy with three kids. We move a lot, and sometimes feel like outsiders. But if I throw myself into the work, and smile a lot, most people give up and become my friends because it's so much easier than ignoring me. :o)

  6. I love it Lianna! Maybe I should try that instead of intimidating people into be my friends. LOL