Thursday, May 12, 2011

More Maude Adventures...Him Just a Little Guy

Maude's gone fishing series started here if you want to check that out first...


Maude tried on her heels then her ballet flats as she tried to decide on what shoes to wear for dinner. She had talked with Jamie through fish (Gone Fishing the Internet dating site) for months, then had several phone conversations. He asked her to dinner but since her surgery eating out was hard on her so she suggested she grill out since the weather was nice instead. Laughing then agreeing he seemed genuinely happy. Maude was no fool though she told her daughter all the info she had on Jamie, last name, age, phone number address she even sent her a link to his profile on fish...just in case. Pulling up the website agree Maude looked at his pictures. 5'10 and 180lbs was what his profile said, with sandy blonde hair and a stunning smile he was very appealing. Maude wasn't vain but she did have  attributes she preferred. Two of which were they guy was taller than her 5'8 and bigger than her 130lbs. Inhaling and exhaling as her heart raced a little.





No matter how many times she did this it never got easier. Thoughts of will he think I'm ugly? Will there be connection this time? Is he the one? teased her. It seemed no matter the age the fears maintained. Looking at Jamie's picture she remembered all the sweet things he said. She let herself believe maybe just maybe a connection would be had.

Hearing a car pull in pulled off her apron and checked her hair in the mirror. Standing at the screen door she watched Jamie get out a pricey SUV. Seeing him much taller than the hood she let go of the breath she had been holding and smiled. However, as he passed the headlight and rounded the front giving her a full view of his person the teeth hid. He was 5'10 all right and maybe 130lbs soaking wet. The words that her boisterous, obnoxious daughter used to say when she was a teen crossed her mind...."Hims just a little guy and I don't do little guys."

Jamie came up to the porch and shook her hand. Then pulled her down for a hug. Maude gestured toward the swing and they sat in quiet for a moment. She knew there was definitely no connection but she wondered how she would be able to proceed without lying to him. Sitting back with his long skinny legs in front of him he put his even thinner arms behind his head and said "So what do you think sweetie?" As if he was night in shiny armor. It wasn't like he was southern sweet sexy like Val Kilmer was in Tombstone. This guy was LITTLE!

Unable to control herself a giggle emerged, then a cackle before she knew it Maude was full on laughing. Jamie looked on horrified.  When she was able to control herself she held her hand in front of her and as straight face as possible she said, "I'm just not feeling it. But we can still be friends and BBQ up this chicken and have dinner if you want."

Sitting up straight in the swing Jamie stalked to his SUV and spit gravel on her cute little Cherokee as he left. Maude put the chicken on the grill, made a jack and coke and called her daughter. Jamie beeped in the first time and she answered. But when he responded with "I ain't feeling it either and why are you so judgemental." Maude quit answering his calls. Once she got off the phone with her daughter she turned on ACDC's another one bites the dust and danced around her kitchen with her drink in one hand and a spatula in another.


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