Showing posts with label Caveat Queen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caveat Queen. Show all posts

Monday, June 25, 2012

$1.50 Worth of Commitment by the Caveat Queen

 
$1.50 Worth of Commitment by the Caveat Queen


 
When I first met my "Dearest" (I am too old to have a "boyfriend," but when I refer to him as my "Man Friend" he thinks he sounds gay...and he is right, but if I say "Partner," people think I'm gay, so I just stick with Dearest) most of our relationship seemed pretty easy. He lived out of state, and so would just appear in town on business, and we would spend a few very happy days hanging out together. At first, he stayed with his mom, and would only come over to visit me, which was just fine. I wasn't looking for a relationship, and neither was he. What were we doing together, then? Well, for one thing, lying to ourselves and each other about the whole "not looking for a relationship," thing...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Trees and the Rapture by the Caveat Queen


 Trees and the Rapture by the Caveat Queen


"In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning."--F. Scott Fitzgerald.
 
When I first read these words, it was as though I had been waiting for Fitzgerald to explain myself to me.  Any worrier is an insomniac, and vice versa.  I have been both since childhood.  My earliest memories are of listening to wind whipping through the branches of the 300-year old oak tree outside my bedroom window.  I would terrify myself with thoughts first of whether I had let the cat in, or left any toys out, and if not whether any or all would blow away.  Then, as the hour grew later, my fears would turn to the tree itself.  Not so much about any harm it could cause, strangely enough, as that would be the sensible thing to be afraid of, the heavy branches that could break off and smash windows, or if the whole thing came up, the damage it could do to the roof or the house itself.  No, being the special variety of worrier that I was sprouting to be, my fears were centered on the terrible nature of the idea that this tree was so very old. Three hundred years…now how anyone knew its age while it was still standing, I do not know.  This was just what I had been told, and at 5 years old, I wasn’t in any position to argue the point.  When I considered this concept during the day, it didn’t really matter to me at all.  I didn’t even really consider it anyway, as I swung on the plank that hung from two pieces of rope that my daddy had tied to one of its enormous branches, or ran around its base, chasing Timid Timothy, my kitten (so named after his look-a-like in my favorite book, and ironically he and the kitten in the story…and I…all shared kindred spirits which are probably obvious from the title.)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Food Porn by the Caveat Queen


        Food Porn
by the Caveat Queen 



Sitting slack-jawed, drooling, and motionless on the couch last weekend, I sat staring at the television as the hours passed.  I was jealously watching the host of each show enjoy luscious dishes that I could only dream of encountering.  At one point, I actually groaned as the host described a dish that he was preparing to enjoy.  That’s when it hit me.  These shows had crossed the line, or I had.  Someone certainly had, as these oversized sandwiches, their contents temptingly spilling onto the plate and practically into my living room, desserts whose chocolate nearly melted right into my mouth, and sauces whose ingredients only needed to be mentioned to make me want to climb right through the TV into the kitchens that I was voyeuristically watching: I wasn’t watching cooking shows!  These were food porn!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Sea Monkeys and The Goodness of Aging

Last week I really dropped the ball on the blog post didn't I? I'm so sorry reader dears. But Monday is a day to recover and recommit. So to start this week off just right I bring the Caveat Queen (my mysterious guest blogging friend) and her thoughts on youth, aging, and a club she never realized the joined.   




Sea Monkeys and The Goodness of Aging

That old saying, “Age has its privileges,” always sounded really snooty and annoying, when I was a kid.  I understood it to mean that my elders got to do things like go ahead of me in line at the store, have some cool stuff that I didn’t, and maybe they all secretly belonged to some club, and I was on the outside looking in and just didn’t know what I was looking at since I was still a dumb kid.

Well, some of that turned out to be true and some didn’t.  Rarely did adults get ahead of me in any lines throughout my youth, unless they only had a few items, and I had a lot. And sometimes my mom still had to tell me to let them go ahead.  It’s not that I was greedy; I just didn’t usually notice that stuff.  I was a kid.  I was busy reading the Archie comics at the register that my mom wouldn’t allow me to have, and performing my rudimentary math skills to see if I could afford a candy bar or not.  Some adult standing behind me with a baby in one arm and a thing of laundry soap in the other might as well have been invisible in my world, which ended right about at the belly button of the adult cosmos.  Seems to me I got more aware of the needs of others as I got…taller.  The ability to make eye contact is a rarely considered factor in the development of compassion. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Uncool Mom or Future Empty Nester?



When did I become this mom?  The one who doesn’t know what’s cool anymore, who misuses “cool” phrases, and turns to her kids for tech support. I remember being pregnant with my oldest and envisioning that we would just kind of “hang” together.  She seemed like she would be something between an accessory and a hobby…. kind of like knitting, but with greater potential later on.  Then…she was born and she was this whole other separate person who made decisions on her own timetable about things like sleeping (or not), eating (or not), and pooping/crying/puking (for these, “not” seemed never to be an option.)  It sunk in quickly that parenting was not at all like knitting, or hanging out with some cool mini-pal…if anything, it was more like trying to knit while running backwards on a treadmill while feeding a moody tiger with a sensitive palate.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Granny Pannies are not the bad guy

 Good Morning my fine readers. Today is Monday, the beginning of a new week, and almost the beginning of a new month. With that I've decided to begin anew with the blog. Once again I'll be going into a bit of a schedule. And to start off this new schedule I introduce the Caveat Queen. Well yeah she's a queen as if a diva would associate with anyone less. I digress. Her highness is a writer from my local writer's guild and a woman who essays I come to highly respect. However, unlike most royalty shes is a bit shy. Which is why I refer to her title. Below and hopefully for now on she will share with us her royal musings each Monday. But just to give her a little incentive I think that comments would really help her confidence and reveal or identity.



I had a bad underwear experience today.  I know it seems a small thing, but at 6:00 this morning it was a pretty damn big deal.